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Last night, after dragging the kids in from playing outdoors with friends in the beautiful twilight, then scrubbing them shiny in the tub, reading a few books, and kissing them goodnight, I sat down and read a “My Turn” in Newsweek that was … well, annoying.

First let me say that I agree with the columnist that parents should be parents and make their children behave, both in public and at home. Not everybody does it, but many of us do and do it fairly well. But the author of this column lays the blame of her hesitance toward parenthood on the doorstep of those who will not or cannot control their children and/or those who want her to “join” the “parenthood club.”

Please. 

I really wasn’t offended or even overly interested in the column until it got to the point where the author talked about people who took their infants to “fancy” restaurants or R-rated movies and let them “carry on, ruining things for other patrons.” Okay, deep breath. 1) Who are these people taking infants to fancy restaurants? My husband and I didn’t do that because we couldn’t afford them, even in a double-income household. Yeah, I hate those people, too, but for an entirely different reason. 2) The days of “sneering at the obnoxious parents” are completely over. Sure, my husband and I used to roll our eyes when we encountered people with rowdy/crying/obnoxious children, but that came to a sharp halt when we experienced it first-hand. These days, when we go out either with the kids or on our own, and we encounter a family with small children “acting up,” we usually share an empathetic look that dissipates into a sparkling-eyed suppressed grin,  because we know that those days are over for us. Our youngest is 5, and our kids know how to behave well (for the most part) in public.

 I won’t argue that you shouldn’t be taking your little ones to anything but family-friendly movies; that seems like a no-brainer to me. I certainly won’t argue that a child should have better manners than to punch an adult (or anyone) in the face, and the parent should have better sense than to take the adult to task rather than the child. But listen up, “My Turn” author, if you’re thinking about having kids, get ready to deal with what you’ve been sneering at. Sometimes, *gasp*, despite a parents best and most informed efforts, kids can be obnoxious. Kids do things that make you want to crawl under a rock. And kids hit and yell when they haven’t yet learned all the ways of dealing with their frustration or inability to communicate well.

And, know what? It’s impossible to teach a child how to act in public unless you take them to public places. Sorry ’bout your luck if that reduced the quality of your dining experience. I promise it was worse for the parents.  

If you really want to find out more about taking charge of your parenting, or even getting a realistic picture of what it will be like, check out PBSParents. -Patsy

Patsy is a former employee of CET who has moved away from Cincinnati but enjoys virtual community by occasionally contributing to the CETconnect blog.